Pornography culture - differences in men and women

This is a post requesting comments!

I hear a lot of people saying that porn is normal, natural, and not a big deal.  Men are visually stimulated, and women are emotional, so just deal with it.  Well, I think that's a lame excuse.  Since when are women NOT also visual?  I appreciate and am turned on by the look of a sexy man just as much as any man is by a sexy woman.

I think the reality is that men like novelty.  It's not that they are visual.  If that were the case, they could have an album of racy photos of their significant other (or having that person actually in the room) and that would suit them just fine.  They wouldn't need anything else.  But internet porn brings constant novelty- a new girl at every mouse click.

Watch this great TED talk for more on that novelty and the effect it has:
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Now I want to talk about inequality.  I read an article this week by a sex therapist about how to talk to your boyfriend about their porn habit.  This therapist was someone who believes porn is fine, and you can never get a man to give it up.  I think she's full of crap.  She mentioned that asking him to give it up would be like asking you (the woman) to give up your vibrator and masturbation altogether.  (In my mind I am thinking, uhhh...wouldn't you give that up anyway cause you have a sexual partner?  Guess that's "old fashioned".)  Then she goes on to mention that a lot of men don't like women using vibrators because it sets up "unreasonable expectations".  :-o  Oh my, I had to just laugh so hard!  What do you think PORN is doing, genius??!!  For men, they get their unreasonable expectations from movies, media, and porn.  For women, theirs come from romance novels and movies (including Disney movies and other fairy tales), and vibrators.

Am I the ONLY person in this world that believes that we should be weeding all of these things out of our lives?!  How about for the sake of a healthy, loving relationship, neither partner has any sexual activity outside of their partnership?  And yeah, I am including self-stimulation, toys, and porn in the category of "sexual activity outside of the partnership".

Is there a way to screen people you date to find out if they are addicted to or indulge regularly in pornography?  I am sick and tired of every person I date being deep into this, and having my heart ripped out when I realize that their problem was worse than I thought, or that they aren't as recovered as I thought, or that they don't actually WANT recovery or aren't ready for it.  I would LOVE to have a way to weed guys out on the first couple dates so I don't even get involved with them.  Porn is a total deal-breaker (and heart-breaker) to me, so I want none of it.  I'm sick of this world.

Barbie is "On the Job" shaping girls' futures...whether we want her to or not.

This is a repost, originally written March 14, 2012 on BioGeoNerd.blogspot.com.  Decided to crop it down and put it here, as it's very appropriate to this blog.

Barbie "I Can Be..."

Can I just comment on what I happened to see on the girls' toy aisle the other day (I was going down every aisle looking for a stuffed animal moose for a friend).  I stopped when I saw a couple of Barbies saying, "I can be....[insert career here]"  Okay so now Mattel is going to tell all the girls in the world what jobs they can do?  That's my first problem with this - what if something they're interested in isn't on the list and therefore isn't cool or beautiful like Barbie is?  Will they abandon it and go for one that IS on the list?

My second problem was the options there at the toy store - Pet Vet, Teacher, Art Teacher, Preschool Teacher, Ballet Dancer, and "Kid Doctor".  Okay at least they had a doctor, but why can't you actually call her a Pediatrician?  Teach the girls some vocabulary for heaven's sake!  They've probably all been to a Pediatrician, it's not that far-fetched that they know what they're called.  Must we continue dumbing everything down?  And does Barbie HAVE to be wearing high heals and a dress only slightly longer than the lab coat (mid thigh)?  Seriously, what doctor do you know that would dress like that?

The Barbie website has some information on each of the professions complete with a couple of videos and games.  I cannot believe this game I just played for the "Babysitter" job.  You have to guide the little kid around the house and move toys out of her way so that she doesn't have an accident on the way to the potty.  When she makes it there you see her sitting on the potty, hear a distinct plop and the girl grins, and they show the toilet flushing with yellow and yes a little brown circle in there swirling around.  Holy heck!  Are you serious?

They do have more professions that just weren't on the shelves where I went, but they still have a pretty limited scope: lifeguard, snowboarder, baby doctor, zoo doctor, rock star, cooking teacher, fashion designer, track champion, tennis champion, gymnastics champion, chef, movie star, and my favorite - bride.

Girls aspire to be "brides".  But are they ready for the title that comes next - "wife"?  Or did they spend all their time planning for the wedding instead of the marriage?

The only non-traditional things are race car driver and architect.  The website showed a software engineer, but I haven't seen the actual toy of that anywhere. 
Anyone notice the trend?  Girly stuff involves either: being famous and adored by all (rock star, sports champions, movie star), cooking, or liking "cute" stuff like kitties and babies.  Don't get me wrong, I love cooking, animals and babies.  But I also love seeing cells in various stages of mitosis under a microscope, collecting Brine Shrimp eggs, taking way too many pictures of rocks, and cutting things open to see what's inside.
So, Barbie's at it again...  shaping our society.  Thanks, but no thanks, Barbie.
A Different Kind of Barbie
Speaking of Barbie, I went to this way cool seminar at the beginning of the semester by this awesome lady scientist who does a lot of work in the rainforest, and she has many non-profit projects she does to educate people about the rainforest.  She uses rock climbing techniques to study the canopy of the rainforest.  They actually created a "Tree Top Barbie" with her all decked out in her gear to climb to the top of the canopy, and she kind of joked that she was surprised that Mattell was not interested in it.  I think it's sad though, it's cool stuff like that they should promote in addition to Ballerina, Art Teacher, and Babysitter. Broaden the horizons of girls.

The battle field is probably a lot younger than we think.  Girls in Elementary school have already been brainwashed that they need to be pretty to be worth anything, they can't "get" math and science, and they're only supposed to like things that are small, fuzzy, and/or pink.

Well, I've got one for you, girls.  A curious symbiotic relationship between an animal and algae - hungry corral polyps grasping for dinner.  This is the basis of an entire ecosystem in the tropical oceans- the corral reef.  More importantly: AMAZING and BEAUTIFUL -  just like you.
 

  (Source)

Thanks for reading, please spread the love (there are Facebook and other links, right down there).

Be curious, be strong, be kind, and above all: be yourself.

Using F-words to describe myself

Hello, I'm fat.  I'm also fun.  And relatively fit.  And lots of other F-words.  Some people will scream at me something like, "YOU CAN'T BE FAT AND FIT AT THE SAME TIME!!!"  I will just respond: please kindly remove your caps lock, you're scaring the normals.  Also, you're wrong.  There are many different levels of fitness, and "fat" or "skinny" are not a prerequisite, requirement, or even sure evidence that one is in fact "fit".  I'll address that issue another time.

That aside, I find it interesting that I'm allowing myself to be identified by this adjective.  The 3-letter adjective that I hate.  The 3-letter adjective that was altered and used by a certain boy to taunt me in 4th grade and destroy my life. A word which I will always scold my children for using if I catch them judging someone with it.

I think the real reason I've decided to use it, is that I've been deciding to embrace my fatness.  I don't care if I'm "fat" according to you, or him, or those chicks.  Everyone has a different opinion of what is fat, and I've realized that even at my ideal healthy weight, some would still consider me to be fat (even if I were no longer obese).  What matters is what I think, and how I feel.

Fat is supposed to be a description word, not a judgment word anyway.  Like saying someone is slender, tall, short, fair-skinned, black-haired, blue-eyed, etc.  Words to describe a person's general appearance, like the introduction of a new character in a book.  But our society has turned these words into things that are permanently sealed to judgments of "bad" or "good".  Fat is bad, skinny is good.  Actually, neither of them are bad or good, they just are.

Fat is the first adjective, but notice there are a bunch of others.  I'm a complex person with a lot of passions.  I am a total science geek.  (I maintain another blog for that passion of mine.)  I'm a feminist.  I'm a mom.  I'm a daughter.  I'm a mormon.  I love food.  I love fun.  I love the earth.  I love exploring said earth.  I love learning.  I'm a little bit crazy, but usually in a good way.

I've decided to open this new blog as an outlet to share research, information, and my own thoughts and ideas about various topics that I care about.  Quite often these will include "fat" issues, and women issues (since women are the ones most subjected to fat-shaming, among other things), as well as issues in the media, politics, and the environment.  Just basically anything I am passionate about that may not be on-topic for an educational science blog.

I did do one very interesting blog post on my science blog that melds many of my passions, that anyone interested in this blog would enjoy.  It's quite an interesting read, do check it out.

Women, Girls, Society, and Science

Until next time.

Be curious, be strong, be kind, and above all: be yourself.